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Writer's pictureMelanie Ersapah

Reflections on 2023




I’d like to take a little bit of time to reflect on 2023 from my own perspective and the themes that came up for me this year. I’ve also included some questions for reflection that might help you if you’d like to take a moment to reflect on this year and these themes for yourself. Whether you want to journal about it or just think a bit on each question is totally up to you.


Change

For me, change has been a huge theme this year. Firstly, from a personal standpoint a lot of things changed in relation to my hobbies and there is still some uncertainty for me going into 2024 surrounding that. While I think the changes in my personal life are overall a positive thing, change is often quite uncomfortable and I think it has included aspects of loss and grieving as well as acceptance for me this year.


From a career standpoint, I started this private practice and made a lot of changes in my work as a therapist. This is not the first time I’ve had changes in my career and I think each time has got me closer and closer to where I want to be. Although, in reality, having a private practice was something I envisioned happening later in my life and has been the goal I’ve been striving for since I was a teen. To see that goal realised has been a highlight of this year, but, at the same time it threw me into a space that I wasn’t necessarily prepared for initially. I feel incredibly grateful that I have been able to achieve my career goal and, despite the uncertainty in the beginning, I can’t wait to see what the new year brings.


Questions for Reflection about Change:

  • What changed for you this year?

  • How do you feel about that change?

  • What was the result of the change and what did you learn about yourself?


Uncertainty

Along with change comes uncertainty, it’s just part of the experience but uncertainty is also part of life in general. If we think too far ahead things start to get blurry and fear starts to creep in - at least that’s how it is in my experience. So even though I find uncertainty challenging just like anyone else, I think it helps teach me how to stay in the present and most importantly how to trust myself. I think I’ve learned through many experiences that it’s more than OK to be uncertain because that is something everyone experiences. What I can do in uncertain times is have confidence in myself to be able to handle what comes up in the future. I don’t think it’s easy and I certainly haven’t always succeeded but this is something that I’ve noticed has been a lesson this year and I hope to take that learning with me into 2024.


Questions for Reflection about Uncertainty:

  • What has made you feel uncertain this year?

  • What is your usual reaction to uncertainty?

  • What have you learned about yourself during uncertain times?


Acceptance

This theme has probably been the hardest for me and I imagine it’s often the hardest for many people. I’ve learned a lot this year about acceptance - accepting uncertainty, accepting there are things I cannot change or control, accepting change. I say it’s been the hardest because I’m not sure whether I have been able to achieve a level of acceptance of some things that I experienced this year. But I also think that’s totally OK. Acceptance is a process and I am aware that it will take time. However, I think that can be where frustration lies for me - the process of acceptance means that there will be a period of time where I am not accepting - and that is an uncomfortable place to be - it means I’m still affected by what happened. Again, I think that is perfectly OK - but it’s also something that you have to accept to live with. It feels like the layers of acceptance are never ending! In this way, I have been able to make some progress on acceptance this year but I also think this theme will stick around because it is a continuous process.


Questions for Reflection about Acceptance:

  • What does acceptance mean to you?

  • Thinking about a specific experience, what does acceptance look like for you?

  • Have you made any progress on accepting things that have happened to you? If so, what changed? How did you notice the progress?


Having reflected on these three themes, I do feel hopeful for 2024. As I mentioned, there are probably quite a few things I will take with me into 2024 so it’s not a completely new beginning in that sense, but it can be an opportunity for a reset or a refresh on some things. I hope that sharing some of my experience and the reflective questions might help you to gain some insight into your own experiences.


If you feel like you might want to start exploring some of these themes in therapy in the new year, do not hesitate to contact me and I’d be happy to set up an initial appointment with you.


Wishing you a Happy New Year!

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