It’s already the end of January and, as I have been discussing in my recent Instagram posts, it’s easy to be critical of ourselves after setting goals for the New Year. So, I thought it might be useful to talk about some tips for managing expectations.
Practice Self-Compassion
This might be a lot easier said than done but being compassionate towards ourselves can increase our self-esteem and eventually lead to more productivity in the future. A lot of the time we are being critical with ourselves because we think that might spur us into action. I’m not sure about you but for me that ends up having the opposite effect. I find that when I’m able to understand my lack of motivation or my lack of energy I am more open to trying again than if I beat myself up all for not doing something.
Re-evaluate Your Goal
If you’ve tried day after day after day to reach your goal and find that you’re just not able to get there and you’re thinking about giving up altogether, you might want to take a pause and think about why you’re having a hard time achieving what you set out to do. I guarantee that it is not a fatal flaw about you - it’s more likely that the goal you set out is not realistic given the circumstances you’re in. That’s why it’s important to take into account how you are feeling and move the goalpost a bit closer to where you are.
Create Community
Having motivation to be consistent can be difficult, especially when our brains are wired against being uncomfortable and like to throw out every possible worse case scenario there could possibly be. In these situations, it can be helpful to have someone in your corner who can encourage you to keep going and someone who will be honest with you and let you know when you’re pushing yourself too hard. Try letting a friend, a family member, a co-worker, know what your goals are and ask them for some help and support along the way. If you don’t want anyone close to you to know - you can tell your therapist - or join an online support group. Partly our expectations can get out of control because we are stuck in our own minds - having an outside perspective can help keep us realistic.
I hope some of these tips might help you to stick with your goals and create consistency in your life. If you feel you might need some assistance, feel free to contact me any time to set up an appointment.
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